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  1. #1
    ENOUGH I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

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    Default GALA Christmas Party

    THIS SAYS IT ALL.......

    *_BE SURE TO READ IT ALL THE WAY THRU_*


    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party
    will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!

    We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing
    along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

    A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
    the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for
    employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty

    ________________________________

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 2, 2009

    RE: Gala Holiday Party

    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
    Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday,
    which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.

    However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
    policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for
    your enjoyment.

    Happy now?

    Happy Holidays to you and your family,

    Patty

    ________________________________

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All Employees

    DATE: October 3, 2009

    RE: Holiday Party

    Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
    Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that
    reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

    Somebody?

    And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are
    allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

    REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

    Patty

    ________________________________

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    To: All Employees

    DATE: October 4, 2009

    RE: Generic Holiday Party

    What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December
    20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and
    drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
    appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our
    Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
    serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

    Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to
    sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the
    table closest to the restrooms.

    Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
    have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.
    Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

    To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill
    House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of
    concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

    We will have booster seats for short people.

    Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

    I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of
    salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high
    blood pressure taste a bite first.

    There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for
    diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

    Did I miss anything?!?!?

    Patty

    ________________________________

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

    TO: All F*%^ing Employees

    DATE: October 5, 2009

    RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

    I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to
    keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can
    sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
    quaintly put it, and you'll get your frigging salad bar, including organic
    tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too... They scream when
    you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

    The rest of you frigging wierdos can kiss my ***. I hope you
    all have a rotten holiday!

    Drive drunk and die,

    The ***** from Hell!!!

    ________________________________


    FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

    DATE: October 6, 2009

    RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

    I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a
    speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

    In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
    Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

    Happy Holidays!


    Joan

  2. #2
    cassens will never call

    Join Date
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    Default Re: GALA Christmas Party

    The humor works so well because sadly we have reached the point of ridiculous with pc.

    Great post mudflap.

  3. #3
    ENOUGH I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!

    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Local Union
    560
    Employer
    Who Knows?
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    nowhere
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    Default Re: GALA Christmas Party

    Quote Originally Posted by flip it in a day View Post
    The humor works so well because sadly we have reached the point of ridiculous with pc.

    Great post mudflap.

 

 

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