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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-25-2008
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Default Joke of the day

Figured i would start a Clean joke of the day thread.
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Old 09-25-2008
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Default Re: Joke of the day

An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
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Old 09-25-2008
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Default Re: Joke of the day

Very funny
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Old 09-25-2008
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Default Re: Joke of the day

Dirtball will love this thread if he has some clean jokes.
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Old 09-27-2008
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Default Re: Joke of the day

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.
Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No-think of another wish."
The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally,he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."
The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"



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Old 09-28-2008
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Default Wife's night out

Your wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....

You're okay with it, because you get to watch sports and play on the internet all night...

You hear her stumble into bed around 4 and laugh knowing she's going to have a monster hangover....

You wake up the next morning and go outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night....

You sigh in relief because it's all in one piece....

You circle the car looking for dents and find none....

But .... wait... Wait ..just a darn minute...


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